Went to the rheumatologist today. After a very very very long day there (3 hours from the time I checked in to the time I left), lots of blood work (which won't be back for a week), several x-rays, and some basic H&P stuff, I have a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia and a preliminary diagnosis of Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, with an appointment to the geneticist to confirm.
I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised by the Fibromyalgia, though I don't like the idea of having more pills to take. One for daily maintenance, one for breakthrough pain and inflammation, one for IBS (if I want to try it, since I already have one that works well when I need it), and one for sleep, because I have been sleeping like crap (due to pain and the fact that my body doesn't like my schedule).
The EDS is still setting in though. Like, I've waited for someone to figure out what was wrong with me for so long that now that it's being acknowledged, I'm too shocked to know what to do with it. It feels very surreal.
It's not like a diagnosis of cancer where your whole life changes in an instant. This is something I've had all my life and will continue to have. There's no cure. There's nothing that's going to change it. There's only good health and maintenance of my body to make sure I feel good as much as possible. And that's what I'm going to do.
Matt....seemed slightly disappointed and sad when I told him that it was basically confirmed, but, I don't guess I can be too shocked. I know it's a lot to take. It's gotta be scary for him. But, I'm not going to let it slow me down. We're going to keep doing fun things just like we always have and live our lives just like we wanted to. We want to get married and have jobs we love and have a family and there's nothing that's going to change that for us.
I hope he'll start to see that this doesn't change anything for me or us. It'll just take a little adjusting. We'll get there.
Now I just have to tell mom and pa and dad. I know I told them that we were looking into a collagen disorder a while back (didn't want to worry anybody). So at least they had a little heads up. And mom has a lot of the same stuff going on (probably where I got it), so she'll need to see a doc about it as well.
It's all just a big whirlwind right now. Can't really keep my thoughts focused. I still have to figure out how I'm going to get new insurance with this diagnosis. I'm still on my COBRA from my old company, and with a pre-existing condition, it's hard to get new insurance. Even if they accepted me and just didn't cover for the pre-existing conditions for 12 months, I guess that wouldn't be so bad...I don't know. I just know I need to find new insurance very soon! Hopefully I'll get a new job soon and get insurance through them. But I know I can't bank on that right now. We'll see. I just need to leave my worries with God. He'll provide, I know. I just need to remember that.
I think I need to move onto something a little lighter for tonight. Like some drabbling or free writing of some sort.
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