Pre-work health screening went well. I checked the box on the form for fibromyalgia (even though I'm not entirely sure I do have it, I have been diagnosed, and I am taking meds for it), so the nurse practitioner asked. And I told her about the EDS as well. Bonus points to her for actually having heard of it before and seeming to have a general understanding of what it was. She didn't seem concerned about me working with either of those. But wanted me to go ahead and get a note from my doc saying that I can work, should anybody pose questions later. I'll call my rheumatologist in the morning.
---
Going for my surgical consult for my stomach tomorrow. Hopefully he won't have an issue with the EDS either. I'm not really sure if or how that will affect this surgery. But this guy is one of the very best in the nation (like top 5) for this type of procedure, so I'm hoping he will know how to work around/with it.
After my consult, I'm going to visit Alicia's grandfather. He's in the same hospital I'm going to for my consult. She called me earlier and told me that he had a stroke a couple days ago. He's not doing good. He got TPA right away, but he still has a big clot (which can't be operated on for a week now because of the TPA). And he doesn't remember having the stroke no matter how many times he's told. He's blind in his left eye, having memory issues, trouble swallowing, partial paralysis on the left side, incontinence....it doesn't look good right now. I really hope he can pull out of this. I hope the surgery to remove the clot goes well.
I'm sad that Licia can't be here with her family, but I'm glad that she has Drew there. That's what she needs now, her husband.
I really hope G'Pa is okay. I can't picture him being so sick and weak....
---
I need to get ready for work....gonna be a long sleepy night. And another short day of sleep tomorrow....
Oy.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Tummy woes....I will tackle you!
So I cut out my sweets and junk food at work (late night mindless snacking is not healthy) and worked on focusing on healthier snacks (not necessarily all fruits and veggies, just not all sugary sweets). And it was actually helpful to my blood sugar, which was an unintended but very welcome side effect. It wasn't dramatic, but a little is great, better than no change or negative change.
Only problem: I lost a ton of weight! I'm too skinny already and have a ton of weight and eating problems already because of my stupid, ill-functioning guts. I miss the part of my life when I was able to eat with no problems and the only issue I ever had was occasional lactose intollerance.
Now, I've lost 7 lbs in a couple weeks, my appetite is dwindling and I'm afraid of what's going to happen if I start eating junk again. The lack of appetite always happens anytime I lose any weight, so I know I just have to force myself to eat until I gain the weight back. But I'm having swallow issues again. And I gag on everything because my appetite is so poor right now. So I gave in and got fast food tonight, because I was craving a burger, and if that's what I was craving then that's what I was going to have. And I'm going to have the other half of it at work tonight.
And I also bought Glucerna shakes and snack bars. Which was incredibly EXPENSIVE! $30 for 2 6-packs of shakes, and 2 4-packs of bars. And that'll only last me about a week. Holy crap. But I've come to the conclusion that my body is going to cost me a lot of money :P
Hopefully I can do the Glucerna without as many blood sugar spikes/crashes and get my weight back up (I had been drinking Ensure Plus before I cut out the sugary snack at work, but those aren't balanced for people with blood sugar issues).
So, here's to hoping the next couple weeks will bring about some good change!!
-----
Tomorrow is my drug testing and fit test for my new job. Obviously I don't have anything to worry about the drug test ;) But I am hoping my body will keep it all together tomorrow long enough to pass a fit test. I've done several of these before and they're all a little different. There was one I did several years ago that was very detailed and very intense (they gave the same one to everybody, so it had to cover a lot, rather than just one department), and I'm certain if I was to take that again, I would have some problems (there's a pinch test that I couldn't pass before, and I know I would do even worse now...my fingers are just getting bad...I really want ring splints) and the one that required me to squat down and balance on my toes was hard then too because my toes are way too bendy, especially when I'm trying to balance on them for long periods of time with absolutely nothing to hold on to. But then the one I took a few months ago was nothing more than some range of motion, a leg/back strength test, and a transfer test (75lbs of free weight from one location to another, with good form). So we'll see what they want me to do tomorrow. If it's as intense as the first one, I may mention that I have EDS (if I can't "pass" part of it, like the pinch test) so that they don't try to put me into therapy or inappropriate braces to fix my problem (they will, if you can't pass part of the test). But we'll see what they're like first.
---
I had a curious thought the other day. I work in health care. Where we wash our hands and use hand sanitizer 12 million times a day. We're only allowed one ring/ring set per hand (mostly this is to allow people to wear their wedding rings/bands, but otherwise, they'd prefer the other stuff be left at home) and fake nails are not permitted. Since ring splints are a doctor prescribed orthotic device to provide better function, therefore, a workplace can't tell you to remove them (it would be like telling an amputee to remove their limb, or a patient with CP to remove their AFOs), what kind of issues will it create? Because I'll have a dozen or more "rings" to wash under each time I wash my hands (I know right now I need support on each DIP joint -oval 8 rings would be just fine with me, possibly PIP on middle fingers, both thumbs need support, and a buddy ring for my little (4th) fingers to keep them from flying out to the side as freely as they like to). It could be interesting.
All this said, I don't care what they make me do, as long as I can get them, because I know I would see a world of change if I had more support for my hands/fingers. And work is the place I need them most.
I'm done rambling....mostly because said hands have had enough.... :P
Only problem: I lost a ton of weight! I'm too skinny already and have a ton of weight and eating problems already because of my stupid, ill-functioning guts. I miss the part of my life when I was able to eat with no problems and the only issue I ever had was occasional lactose intollerance.
Now, I've lost 7 lbs in a couple weeks, my appetite is dwindling and I'm afraid of what's going to happen if I start eating junk again. The lack of appetite always happens anytime I lose any weight, so I know I just have to force myself to eat until I gain the weight back. But I'm having swallow issues again. And I gag on everything because my appetite is so poor right now. So I gave in and got fast food tonight, because I was craving a burger, and if that's what I was craving then that's what I was going to have. And I'm going to have the other half of it at work tonight.
And I also bought Glucerna shakes and snack bars. Which was incredibly EXPENSIVE! $30 for 2 6-packs of shakes, and 2 4-packs of bars. And that'll only last me about a week. Holy crap. But I've come to the conclusion that my body is going to cost me a lot of money :P
Hopefully I can do the Glucerna without as many blood sugar spikes/crashes and get my weight back up (I had been drinking Ensure Plus before I cut out the sugary snack at work, but those aren't balanced for people with blood sugar issues).
So, here's to hoping the next couple weeks will bring about some good change!!
-----
Tomorrow is my drug testing and fit test for my new job. Obviously I don't have anything to worry about the drug test ;) But I am hoping my body will keep it all together tomorrow long enough to pass a fit test. I've done several of these before and they're all a little different. There was one I did several years ago that was very detailed and very intense (they gave the same one to everybody, so it had to cover a lot, rather than just one department), and I'm certain if I was to take that again, I would have some problems (there's a pinch test that I couldn't pass before, and I know I would do even worse now...my fingers are just getting bad...I really want ring splints) and the one that required me to squat down and balance on my toes was hard then too because my toes are way too bendy, especially when I'm trying to balance on them for long periods of time with absolutely nothing to hold on to. But then the one I took a few months ago was nothing more than some range of motion, a leg/back strength test, and a transfer test (75lbs of free weight from one location to another, with good form). So we'll see what they want me to do tomorrow. If it's as intense as the first one, I may mention that I have EDS (if I can't "pass" part of it, like the pinch test) so that they don't try to put me into therapy or inappropriate braces to fix my problem (they will, if you can't pass part of the test). But we'll see what they're like first.
---
I had a curious thought the other day. I work in health care. Where we wash our hands and use hand sanitizer 12 million times a day. We're only allowed one ring/ring set per hand (mostly this is to allow people to wear their wedding rings/bands, but otherwise, they'd prefer the other stuff be left at home) and fake nails are not permitted. Since ring splints are a doctor prescribed orthotic device to provide better function, therefore, a workplace can't tell you to remove them (it would be like telling an amputee to remove their limb, or a patient with CP to remove their AFOs), what kind of issues will it create? Because I'll have a dozen or more "rings" to wash under each time I wash my hands (I know right now I need support on each DIP joint -oval 8 rings would be just fine with me, possibly PIP on middle fingers, both thumbs need support, and a buddy ring for my little (4th) fingers to keep them from flying out to the side as freely as they like to). It could be interesting.
All this said, I don't care what they make me do, as long as I can get them, because I know I would see a world of change if I had more support for my hands/fingers. And work is the place I need them most.
I'm done rambling....mostly because said hands have had enough.... :P
Friday, August 27, 2010
*flump*
I hate coming home from work knowing I have to shower because I'm gross, but don't have the energy to stand in there for 15-20 minutes (too much thick hair just adds a whole lot of time to it...makes it even worse).
Plus, I subluxed my right shoulder at work last night. I've never done that before. My issues have always been with the left side. I thought I had more time before the right started giving me hell. Guess not. It hurt. And there were witnesses. They got to hear the sickening pop as it settled back in when I moved my arm wrong. Fail.
Okay....getting off my ass to go shower now so I can go to bed. Which is where I really want to be.
.....though sleeping in my chair would feel so great right now too....
*motivates, moves*
Plus, I subluxed my right shoulder at work last night. I've never done that before. My issues have always been with the left side. I thought I had more time before the right started giving me hell. Guess not. It hurt. And there were witnesses. They got to hear the sickening pop as it settled back in when I moved my arm wrong. Fail.
Okay....getting off my ass to go shower now so I can go to bed. Which is where I really want to be.
.....though sleeping in my chair would feel so great right now too....
*motivates, moves*
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Love it when that happens
Had a good night at work last night. Worked with a good crew, full moon was still making people crazy, and I didn't have an insane amount of pain. My hands/fingers were giving me trouble by the time last rounds/get ups came around and I kept fumbling with things, but the pain was minimal.
Also turned in my resignation letter and two weeks notice last night! YAY for a new job! I can't wait!! I really hope working at the hospital will be better for my body. I think it will be. Certainly can't be much worse than where I'm at now.
Got my new chair today. Nothing fancy. Just a little video rocker that sits on the floor. But it means I can resume sitting on the floor. Comfortably. Or, more comfortably than I was. My back is supported and my hips are more supported than I thought they would be (moreso than they are just sitting on the floor), and it takes some of the pressure off my ankles (because when I sit on the floor, I tend to sit on my feet). It's much more comfortable and less strenuous on my body. I'll take that for a $25 chair.
Off to work for me........
Also turned in my resignation letter and two weeks notice last night! YAY for a new job! I can't wait!! I really hope working at the hospital will be better for my body. I think it will be. Certainly can't be much worse than where I'm at now.
Got my new chair today. Nothing fancy. Just a little video rocker that sits on the floor. But it means I can resume sitting on the floor. Comfortably. Or, more comfortably than I was. My back is supported and my hips are more supported than I thought they would be (moreso than they are just sitting on the floor), and it takes some of the pressure off my ankles (because when I sit on the floor, I tend to sit on my feet). It's much more comfortable and less strenuous on my body. I'll take that for a $25 chair.
Off to work for me........
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Pet peeve of the day: vocabulary
I have many pet peeves, just like many other people in this world. I do my best to keep my opinions about them to myself though, because many of my pet peeves don't concern other people/aren't bothersome to others. But sometimes, there are things I can't let slide any longer.
The word "starving" is quite bothersome to me. People I know aren't actually starving. Because the people I know are all at least well enough off to afford at least two meals each day.
When it's morning and you haven't eaten since 2 hours before bed and your stomach is empty and growling, you're not starving. You're hungry.
When you had breakfast between 6 and 8 and you now see that the clock is approaching 11-12, causing your stomach to wake up all of a sudden, you're not starving. That's habit, and hunger.
When you're at a restaurant and you've ordered a meal that takes 30 minutes to get to you, but you are sipping wine and nibbling bread while you talk to someone, you're not starving. You have an appetite.
There are many people who are, in fact, starving in America. But believe me, these people are not us.
And then there's the word misery. I do have just as many problems with this one. Because misery is different for everyone, this much I'm sure of. But again, let's break it down a little.
I know it's summer and that it's very hot and uncomfortable in the sun (especially around here, where the humidity can feel like it may choke you some days...and hey, I choke on a daily freaking basis, so I know what that feels like), but an 85-90 degree day is not misery. It's an annoyance.
When you're camped out in line waiting for concert tickets on a super hot day or a super cold day, for hours or even a whole day, please be assured, I don't have sympathy. I think that is a CHOICE. Concert tickets aren't exactly something you'd call miserable now is it?
And when you've done something like drink all night with your friends and wake up hung over, or go out and do something you knew wasn't safe and end up with a sprain or strain or even a broken bone...I'll give you that doesn't feel good at all, maybe even feels miserable if that's the worst you've been through in your life. But again, choices. I have little sympathy for someone who parties all night and feels like crap in the morning or knew they shouldn't be mountain climbing with an already broken arm.
You know what is miserable?
A man dying in a hospital bed in a nursing home. Who is starving to death because his body told him weeks ago that he no longer needed food, that calories weren't necessary anymore. A man who is in a great deal of pain, but nobody can truly know how much because he can't speak anymore. A man who is getting more pressure sores by the hour because his circulatory system is shutting down. A man who's eyes won't close, but remain glazed over and fixed in one position. A man who's mouth won't close, so as he gasps and breathes deeply, his gums and teeth and palate and tongue and lips dry out so much they crack. A man who can hear what's going on around him, maybe even still see a little, but have no way to communicate what he really needs or wants or feels.
That looked pretty miserable to me.
The word "starving" is quite bothersome to me. People I know aren't actually starving. Because the people I know are all at least well enough off to afford at least two meals each day.
When it's morning and you haven't eaten since 2 hours before bed and your stomach is empty and growling, you're not starving. You're hungry.
When you had breakfast between 6 and 8 and you now see that the clock is approaching 11-12, causing your stomach to wake up all of a sudden, you're not starving. That's habit, and hunger.
When you're at a restaurant and you've ordered a meal that takes 30 minutes to get to you, but you are sipping wine and nibbling bread while you talk to someone, you're not starving. You have an appetite.
There are many people who are, in fact, starving in America. But believe me, these people are not us.
And then there's the word misery. I do have just as many problems with this one. Because misery is different for everyone, this much I'm sure of. But again, let's break it down a little.
I know it's summer and that it's very hot and uncomfortable in the sun (especially around here, where the humidity can feel like it may choke you some days...and hey, I choke on a daily freaking basis, so I know what that feels like), but an 85-90 degree day is not misery. It's an annoyance.
When you're camped out in line waiting for concert tickets on a super hot day or a super cold day, for hours or even a whole day, please be assured, I don't have sympathy. I think that is a CHOICE. Concert tickets aren't exactly something you'd call miserable now is it?
And when you've done something like drink all night with your friends and wake up hung over, or go out and do something you knew wasn't safe and end up with a sprain or strain or even a broken bone...I'll give you that doesn't feel good at all, maybe even feels miserable if that's the worst you've been through in your life. But again, choices. I have little sympathy for someone who parties all night and feels like crap in the morning or knew they shouldn't be mountain climbing with an already broken arm.
You know what is miserable?
A man dying in a hospital bed in a nursing home. Who is starving to death because his body told him weeks ago that he no longer needed food, that calories weren't necessary anymore. A man who is in a great deal of pain, but nobody can truly know how much because he can't speak anymore. A man who is getting more pressure sores by the hour because his circulatory system is shutting down. A man who's eyes won't close, but remain glazed over and fixed in one position. A man who's mouth won't close, so as he gasps and breathes deeply, his gums and teeth and palate and tongue and lips dry out so much they crack. A man who can hear what's going on around him, maybe even still see a little, but have no way to communicate what he really needs or wants or feels.
That looked pretty miserable to me.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Comfort of the emotional flavor
Me and Matt were going out to a movie tonight (FYI, I highly recommend 'Inception'. GREAT), so I head to his place and when I took his hand, he noticed I had two fingers taped together. He asked, I shrugged, said my finger was being gimpy and we both left it at that, heading on our merry way.
A little while later in the car, he asked again. "Did you hurt it at work or something?" (my old folks abuse me)
So I told him I woke up with it a little out of place and it was just hurting because it was just floating around (my pinky fingers have a lot of play in them, not a whole lot of being anchored to the rest of my hand going on there).
And then he started asking questions about Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. What type the rheumatologist thought I had (she didn't specify, she's leaving that up to the geneticist), and what I thought (I think it's classical type, in my uneducated opinion) and he wanted to make sure I didn't think I had vascular type. He's been doing research. He talked to his dad (a biology professor and researcher for one of the top schools in the country) and he sent him a lot of information about it too. That's good. I'm glad he's getting more info about it. And we talked about genetics and inheritance. Because it's not something that's usually spontaneous. I probably got it from momma, and she's going to look into it. And with the research he's been doing, Matt really sees how much I fall into a "textbook" case of EDS. And how mom does as well.
I know this scares the hell out of him, but it means SO much to me that he's doing this. Researching and talking about it and taking an extra effort so that I'm not doing this by myself. I knew I wasn't, but it just feels like I can lean on him that much more now, without having to worry about breaking him. We're in this together, no matter what. And I love him for that. So much.
A little while later in the car, he asked again. "Did you hurt it at work or something?" (my old folks abuse me)
So I told him I woke up with it a little out of place and it was just hurting because it was just floating around (my pinky fingers have a lot of play in them, not a whole lot of being anchored to the rest of my hand going on there).
And then he started asking questions about Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. What type the rheumatologist thought I had (she didn't specify, she's leaving that up to the geneticist), and what I thought (I think it's classical type, in my uneducated opinion) and he wanted to make sure I didn't think I had vascular type. He's been doing research. He talked to his dad (a biology professor and researcher for one of the top schools in the country) and he sent him a lot of information about it too. That's good. I'm glad he's getting more info about it. And we talked about genetics and inheritance. Because it's not something that's usually spontaneous. I probably got it from momma, and she's going to look into it. And with the research he's been doing, Matt really sees how much I fall into a "textbook" case of EDS. And how mom does as well.
I know this scares the hell out of him, but it means SO much to me that he's doing this. Researching and talking about it and taking an extra effort so that I'm not doing this by myself. I knew I wasn't, but it just feels like I can lean on him that much more now, without having to worry about breaking him. We're in this together, no matter what. And I love him for that. So much.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
FREAKING FREEZING!
Stupid Savella is really giving me thermoregulation issues. Hot flashes with goosebumps one minute and freezing cold the next. It's summer, and I'm currently curled up with a fleece blanket. WHY?!?! Sheesh.
Had a really bad pain day at work last night. Every movement (even breathing) came with popping, snapping, and cracking. Every. Single. Movement. I was so tired by the time I got home. I gave myself a quick sponge bath (got the essentials and the gross stuff from work off) and crawled into bed. Woke up at some point with my elbow all but out of place. That hurt for quite a while, then I went back to sleep.
And now I'm up, had food, ran errands, made supper for work, and I have to do my write up for work. Then maybe do a little free writing. Maybe.
Had a really bad pain day at work last night. Every movement (even breathing) came with popping, snapping, and cracking. Every. Single. Movement. I was so tired by the time I got home. I gave myself a quick sponge bath (got the essentials and the gross stuff from work off) and crawled into bed. Woke up at some point with my elbow all but out of place. That hurt for quite a while, then I went back to sleep.
And now I'm up, had food, ran errands, made supper for work, and I have to do my write up for work. Then maybe do a little free writing. Maybe.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Another day, another dollar
Work was good last night. Amber's going away party. Not gonna be the same without her there, but I'm glad she's doing something that will give her flexibility for school and something she likes more.
And in the meantime, we have a new orientee.
Me and Shae got most of my hall up in pretty good time this morning. And one of the girls brought her dog in for the day which made MC spring right up out of bed! So cute. Those little ladies just loved having a puppy to care for for the day.
I slept in a little today, which felt good. And I think it was because I was actually moving around in my sleep more. Not my old flailing and tossing and turning like a fish out of water (I think I've outgrown that, actually). But just moving around and getting comfortable more often. Which I'm not usually doing. I wake up sore and stiff and in pain because I lay in one position too long. But today I didn't. It felt good.
Beary Long was also on my butt. Don't know what that was about. I don't know how that bear ends up in the places he does.....
My thumb is feeling better after catering to it more last night at work. I was careful to keep it tucked more when I could and use the heel of my hand rather than my fingers/thumb when I absolutely had to.
My hip is starting to bother me though (like, just in the last 30 minutes, really aching and feeling like it's not right). Hopefully it'll chill out by the time I get to work.
Emailed K back. She's really been a great ally and an amazing friend through all of this. It's great to have someone to go to who's been through the chaos of a chronic pain problem. We have a big way to relate to each other, and bounce a lot off each other that we can't necessarily run by just anybody, no matter how much they say they understand. I'm really glad I have her to talk to.
I need to start getting around for work so I can sit and write for a little bit. Because I would really like to crank out a drabble tonight.
And in the meantime, we have a new orientee.
Me and Shae got most of my hall up in pretty good time this morning. And one of the girls brought her dog in for the day which made MC spring right up out of bed! So cute. Those little ladies just loved having a puppy to care for for the day.
I slept in a little today, which felt good. And I think it was because I was actually moving around in my sleep more. Not my old flailing and tossing and turning like a fish out of water (I think I've outgrown that, actually). But just moving around and getting comfortable more often. Which I'm not usually doing. I wake up sore and stiff and in pain because I lay in one position too long. But today I didn't. It felt good.
Beary Long was also on my butt. Don't know what that was about. I don't know how that bear ends up in the places he does.....
My thumb is feeling better after catering to it more last night at work. I was careful to keep it tucked more when I could and use the heel of my hand rather than my fingers/thumb when I absolutely had to.
My hip is starting to bother me though (like, just in the last 30 minutes, really aching and feeling like it's not right). Hopefully it'll chill out by the time I get to work.
Emailed K back. She's really been a great ally and an amazing friend through all of this. It's great to have someone to go to who's been through the chaos of a chronic pain problem. We have a big way to relate to each other, and bounce a lot off each other that we can't necessarily run by just anybody, no matter how much they say they understand. I'm really glad I have her to talk to.
I need to start getting around for work so I can sit and write for a little bit. Because I would really like to crank out a drabble tonight.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Short, sweet, to the point
We will not be taking the meloxicam any more. 2 hours after I took it last night, I was SO nauseated, dizzy, lightheaded, and had a headache. I had to take a nap before work to make the nausea chill out a little, then took meclizine (antiemetic, the least drowsy kind I have around, still sedating) as soon as I woke up to keep it at bay for a while.
There's a chance that my body could get used to it, but I'm not willing to try. At least not right now. I can't deal with a bunch of new meds and side effects like that. If I have to take more meds to manage the side effects of the first meds, I'm not doing it.
I'll call the doctor and tell her that one isn't going to work. But the Savella still seems to be doing okay, aside from the hot flashes.
I subluxed my thumb BAD last night (really can't believe it didn't dislocate). And now it won't cooperate. I can't move it and keep it in place for the life of me. I feel like it could jump out of socket any minute now. Lovely. Hopefully it'll stiffen up after I sleep for a while.
Which is where I'm going now. So very very very tired!
There's a chance that my body could get used to it, but I'm not willing to try. At least not right now. I can't deal with a bunch of new meds and side effects like that. If I have to take more meds to manage the side effects of the first meds, I'm not doing it.
I'll call the doctor and tell her that one isn't going to work. But the Savella still seems to be doing okay, aside from the hot flashes.
I subluxed my thumb BAD last night (really can't believe it didn't dislocate). And now it won't cooperate. I can't move it and keep it in place for the life of me. I feel like it could jump out of socket any minute now. Lovely. Hopefully it'll stiffen up after I sleep for a while.
Which is where I'm going now. So very very very tired!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
I feel old
I thought I would be to a point in my life eventually where I was back to not having to take any pills for anything (except my multivitamin, which is non-prescription, so I feel much better about it). Because in middle school and high school when I was taking numerous pills for numerous problems, only to find out I didn't really need any of them, I felt so much better just to get rid of the pill bottles. I felt youthful again. Young people shouldn't have that many medications, right?
Well, with the new diagnoses comes all the pills again.
Prenatal multivitamin 1 tab per day, the prenatals have more oomph for me
Topamax 50 mg twice a day, that's one I've been taking for years for my migraines
Prilosec twice a day, getting close to two years for that now (before that it was a lot of Tums, still a lot of those some days)
Now, I've tacked on more.
Savella (for the fibromyalgia), I'm on the titration pack now, but will be on 50 mg twice a day
Meloxicam (for inflammation/pain), 15 mg once a day, has to be evening for now, since I don't eat or drink much in the morning before I go to bed, just enough to keep my blood sugar up
Trazodone 100mg, to help me sleep, because with the slightest amoung of pain or discomfort, I'm done with the bed, and lack of sleep is bad for me, though I don't think I'll take it every day...maybe depending on how I feel when I go to bed, or see how I am the previous night...I've taken it in the past and I didn't need it every single night then either
And I have IBS drugs PRN for flareups. Those aren't usually so bad that I want to take meds, because they make me drousy, and because I don't like meds! But I do have them, and I will take them if I need to (because nobody likes being confined to the bathroom all day).
Hopefully there won't be anymore meds added onto this. I realize there might be changes, especially if the "hot flush" from the Savella doesn't let up (I thought I was going to die at work last night due to a defective internal thermostat!), but changes are better than additions.
--
I think my spine was subluxing at work last night. It was the first time I've ever felt anything like it. It was more unstable and scary feeling than painful. Though at the time, I was rushing to get to a resident alarm and was more worried about not collapsing when I got there...adrenaline was rushing.
...I'd like to not experience that again at work.
--
I had an AMAZING job interview today!!! I really really hope I get it! It's in a great hospital and I would be working a better shift and the way they run things is just so much different and better than where I'm at now and I just love it! And it would be easier on my body (once I got the hang of it...every new job is a little taxing in the beginning). I really clicked with the interviewer (the team lead/nurse manager) and it was the best interview I've ever had. She said she was going to put me up for the job offer and really hoped that I got it. I hope I do too!!!
I think I'm going to kick back for a little while before I have to start getting ready for work. I didn't get enough sleep (due to early but awesome interview) and my feet and back are already achy.
Well, with the new diagnoses comes all the pills again.
Prenatal multivitamin 1 tab per day, the prenatals have more oomph for me
Topamax 50 mg twice a day, that's one I've been taking for years for my migraines
Prilosec twice a day, getting close to two years for that now (before that it was a lot of Tums, still a lot of those some days)
Now, I've tacked on more.
Savella (for the fibromyalgia), I'm on the titration pack now, but will be on 50 mg twice a day
Meloxicam (for inflammation/pain), 15 mg once a day, has to be evening for now, since I don't eat or drink much in the morning before I go to bed, just enough to keep my blood sugar up
Trazodone 100mg, to help me sleep, because with the slightest amoung of pain or discomfort, I'm done with the bed, and lack of sleep is bad for me, though I don't think I'll take it every day...maybe depending on how I feel when I go to bed, or see how I am the previous night...I've taken it in the past and I didn't need it every single night then either
And I have IBS drugs PRN for flareups. Those aren't usually so bad that I want to take meds, because they make me drousy, and because I don't like meds! But I do have them, and I will take them if I need to (because nobody likes being confined to the bathroom all day).
Hopefully there won't be anymore meds added onto this. I realize there might be changes, especially if the "hot flush" from the Savella doesn't let up (I thought I was going to die at work last night due to a defective internal thermostat!), but changes are better than additions.
--
I think my spine was subluxing at work last night. It was the first time I've ever felt anything like it. It was more unstable and scary feeling than painful. Though at the time, I was rushing to get to a resident alarm and was more worried about not collapsing when I got there...adrenaline was rushing.
...I'd like to not experience that again at work.
--
I had an AMAZING job interview today!!! I really really hope I get it! It's in a great hospital and I would be working a better shift and the way they run things is just so much different and better than where I'm at now and I just love it! And it would be easier on my body (once I got the hang of it...every new job is a little taxing in the beginning). I really clicked with the interviewer (the team lead/nurse manager) and it was the best interview I've ever had. She said she was going to put me up for the job offer and really hoped that I got it. I hope I do too!!!
I think I'm going to kick back for a little while before I have to start getting ready for work. I didn't get enough sleep (due to early but awesome interview) and my feet and back are already achy.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
sad face
I told dad earlier about my trip to the doctor. We joked lightly about it, because that's what we do, and I didn't go into serious detail, that will all come with time.
Just got off the phone with momma. That was hard. She's scared. She asked me about the prognosis very quickly, and it broke my heart to tell her that EDS gets worse, not better. Her little girl is sick and she couldn't hold her. That was tough for both of us.
She's going to come up here for my appointment with the geneticist though. She wants to see how it goes and be there for me. I certainly won't argue with her about it.
I also told her she needed to talk to the doctor about it. Although she's no "Indian Rubber Man", she has some symptoms, and our bodies are very similar in their misfunctioning ways. She has mitral valve prolapse, arthritis in many joints (more than a woman her age should, and she started having problems since before I could remember), she has pain and popping and rubbing in a lot of her joints, she has a bad elbow as of recently that 4 specialists (orthopedists, surgeons, and PT) could not determine a cause for (so they've done the most outlandish treatments they can think of for it, all in vain), colon/digestive issues that were chalked up to old age (but they shouldn't be starting in with the old age stuff when she was just 45). And I'm sure if we were face to face, we could compare a few others. So, she's going to talk to Bubba (family doc). I'm sure she's going to spend more time talking about me than herself, but as long as she mentions it, he'll do the rest of the work for her.
It's starting to sink in now. Might even be a little scary. Like, I may go through this with my own kids someday. That part scares me.
Just got off the phone with momma. That was hard. She's scared. She asked me about the prognosis very quickly, and it broke my heart to tell her that EDS gets worse, not better. Her little girl is sick and she couldn't hold her. That was tough for both of us.
She's going to come up here for my appointment with the geneticist though. She wants to see how it goes and be there for me. I certainly won't argue with her about it.
I also told her she needed to talk to the doctor about it. Although she's no "Indian Rubber Man", she has some symptoms, and our bodies are very similar in their misfunctioning ways. She has mitral valve prolapse, arthritis in many joints (more than a woman her age should, and she started having problems since before I could remember), she has pain and popping and rubbing in a lot of her joints, she has a bad elbow as of recently that 4 specialists (orthopedists, surgeons, and PT) could not determine a cause for (so they've done the most outlandish treatments they can think of for it, all in vain), colon/digestive issues that were chalked up to old age (but they shouldn't be starting in with the old age stuff when she was just 45). And I'm sure if we were face to face, we could compare a few others. So, she's going to talk to Bubba (family doc). I'm sure she's going to spend more time talking about me than herself, but as long as she mentions it, he'll do the rest of the work for her.
It's starting to sink in now. Might even be a little scary. Like, I may go through this with my own kids someday. That part scares me.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Well, there's that....almost....
Went to the rheumatologist today. After a very very very long day there (3 hours from the time I checked in to the time I left), lots of blood work (which won't be back for a week), several x-rays, and some basic H&P stuff, I have a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia and a preliminary diagnosis of Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, with an appointment to the geneticist to confirm.
I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised by the Fibromyalgia, though I don't like the idea of having more pills to take. One for daily maintenance, one for breakthrough pain and inflammation, one for IBS (if I want to try it, since I already have one that works well when I need it), and one for sleep, because I have been sleeping like crap (due to pain and the fact that my body doesn't like my schedule).
The EDS is still setting in though. Like, I've waited for someone to figure out what was wrong with me for so long that now that it's being acknowledged, I'm too shocked to know what to do with it. It feels very surreal.
It's not like a diagnosis of cancer where your whole life changes in an instant. This is something I've had all my life and will continue to have. There's no cure. There's nothing that's going to change it. There's only good health and maintenance of my body to make sure I feel good as much as possible. And that's what I'm going to do.
Matt....seemed slightly disappointed and sad when I told him that it was basically confirmed, but, I don't guess I can be too shocked. I know it's a lot to take. It's gotta be scary for him. But, I'm not going to let it slow me down. We're going to keep doing fun things just like we always have and live our lives just like we wanted to. We want to get married and have jobs we love and have a family and there's nothing that's going to change that for us.
I hope he'll start to see that this doesn't change anything for me or us. It'll just take a little adjusting. We'll get there.
Now I just have to tell mom and pa and dad. I know I told them that we were looking into a collagen disorder a while back (didn't want to worry anybody). So at least they had a little heads up. And mom has a lot of the same stuff going on (probably where I got it), so she'll need to see a doc about it as well.
It's all just a big whirlwind right now. Can't really keep my thoughts focused. I still have to figure out how I'm going to get new insurance with this diagnosis. I'm still on my COBRA from my old company, and with a pre-existing condition, it's hard to get new insurance. Even if they accepted me and just didn't cover for the pre-existing conditions for 12 months, I guess that wouldn't be so bad...I don't know. I just know I need to find new insurance very soon! Hopefully I'll get a new job soon and get insurance through them. But I know I can't bank on that right now. We'll see. I just need to leave my worries with God. He'll provide, I know. I just need to remember that.
I think I need to move onto something a little lighter for tonight. Like some drabbling or free writing of some sort.
I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised by the Fibromyalgia, though I don't like the idea of having more pills to take. One for daily maintenance, one for breakthrough pain and inflammation, one for IBS (if I want to try it, since I already have one that works well when I need it), and one for sleep, because I have been sleeping like crap (due to pain and the fact that my body doesn't like my schedule).
The EDS is still setting in though. Like, I've waited for someone to figure out what was wrong with me for so long that now that it's being acknowledged, I'm too shocked to know what to do with it. It feels very surreal.
It's not like a diagnosis of cancer where your whole life changes in an instant. This is something I've had all my life and will continue to have. There's no cure. There's nothing that's going to change it. There's only good health and maintenance of my body to make sure I feel good as much as possible. And that's what I'm going to do.
Matt....seemed slightly disappointed and sad when I told him that it was basically confirmed, but, I don't guess I can be too shocked. I know it's a lot to take. It's gotta be scary for him. But, I'm not going to let it slow me down. We're going to keep doing fun things just like we always have and live our lives just like we wanted to. We want to get married and have jobs we love and have a family and there's nothing that's going to change that for us.
I hope he'll start to see that this doesn't change anything for me or us. It'll just take a little adjusting. We'll get there.
Now I just have to tell mom and pa and dad. I know I told them that we were looking into a collagen disorder a while back (didn't want to worry anybody). So at least they had a little heads up. And mom has a lot of the same stuff going on (probably where I got it), so she'll need to see a doc about it as well.
It's all just a big whirlwind right now. Can't really keep my thoughts focused. I still have to figure out how I'm going to get new insurance with this diagnosis. I'm still on my COBRA from my old company, and with a pre-existing condition, it's hard to get new insurance. Even if they accepted me and just didn't cover for the pre-existing conditions for 12 months, I guess that wouldn't be so bad...I don't know. I just know I need to find new insurance very soon! Hopefully I'll get a new job soon and get insurance through them. But I know I can't bank on that right now. We'll see. I just need to leave my worries with God. He'll provide, I know. I just need to remember that.
I think I need to move onto something a little lighter for tonight. Like some drabbling or free writing of some sort.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Fabulous weekend, time to start a new week!
Me and Matt went camping this weekend! So much fun!! Got there after dark Friday night, set up the tent by lantern light, then put the lantern out, sat in the field and watched the stars. And boy were they beautiful!!! Being outside of the city really made the sky light up! And there were more shooting stars than we could count. And all so big and bright and close! Marvelous. We sat there and talked for a couple hours and went to bed.
Woke up to a little rain Saturday morning. No big deal. It was nice and cool. Went to Elephant Rocks state park to do some climbing! I've never been there and Matt hasn't been there since he was a kid, so that was a lot of fun. Even if I did hurt all over. We had lunch while we were there and climbed around some more before heading over to the Shut-ins to climb some more and swim.
I didn't realize that the shut ins were that much intense climbing in the water, so my footwear was not at all appropriate, making my job that much harder. But it was so much fun to play on the rocks and splash in the water and swim around. And when we finally got to some pools and waterfalls where we could sit, it felt so great! Took all the stress and pressure off all the aching joints in my body!! But we had to do more climbing and hiking to get out of there and back to the car, so I was beat by the time we sat down to eat a snack when we got back. My hands are very bruised up, and I have scratches and bruises all over, I dislocated more fingers and toes than I can count (usually the same few over and over again), and everything just aches. But it was worth it. Because we had fun. I'm definitely going to need a lot of tylenol for work tonight, and I'm not even going to wait for last rounds to put my braces on (knee and wrist for work)...those are going on to start the night.
And it certainly didn't help that we didn't have enough padding to sleep on, so my body was not supported at all. I was just laying on all kinds of pressure points and sore spots all night. I woke up all kinds of stiff and achy and sore both mornings. We'll have to buy better sleeping gear for next time.
Woke up to thunderstorm this morning, but not enough to flood us out - I kept waiting for the sirens to go off - and then packed up our stuff and left. My gut is giving me fits because of something I ate that it didn't care for...cheese on my sandwich or super-flavorful Tomato-basil potato chips, I'm not sure which, but IBS!fail is the name of the game right now.
Everything is pretty well unpacked and put away. I laid out all the wet stuff when I got home to let it dry, so I just need to roll the tent back up and stuff it in the bag and put everything back in the camping tub that belongs there. And put the tub back in the storage room.
Laundry will be done tomorrow.
After my doctor's appointment. I see the rheumatologist tomorrow. I'm nervous. I still don't know what I'm going to do if she tells me she doesn't think I have EDS. I'm not a doctor, but it just seems to fit. Considering nobody else has been able to give me a better answer, I'm willing to go with what fits now. I know there's no cure, so having an answer doesn't mean all that much to the naked eye. But having an answer means a lot when you've known for so long that something was wrong that you just couldn't put into words for anybody else.
I really really hope this goes well tomorrow. I just want answers. That's all. I know Matt doesn't understand still, he had to ask me a couple times why I was "hoping" this is what I had or why I would "want" to have this. But that's not it. Nobody wants to be sick, but when you are, you want to know what's wrong with you, you want a label to slap on it. It makes it easier to explain to people when you trip and fall over all the time, when you're tired for no reason, when you hurt and ache and crack and pop like an 80 year old, when you want to scream because you're in pain but nobody knows because you never talk about your pain, because there's never been a good reason for you to hurt....
I might need a little extra prayer tonight and tomorrow. That's what I'll work on.
Woke up to a little rain Saturday morning. No big deal. It was nice and cool. Went to Elephant Rocks state park to do some climbing! I've never been there and Matt hasn't been there since he was a kid, so that was a lot of fun. Even if I did hurt all over. We had lunch while we were there and climbed around some more before heading over to the Shut-ins to climb some more and swim.
I didn't realize that the shut ins were that much intense climbing in the water, so my footwear was not at all appropriate, making my job that much harder. But it was so much fun to play on the rocks and splash in the water and swim around. And when we finally got to some pools and waterfalls where we could sit, it felt so great! Took all the stress and pressure off all the aching joints in my body!! But we had to do more climbing and hiking to get out of there and back to the car, so I was beat by the time we sat down to eat a snack when we got back. My hands are very bruised up, and I have scratches and bruises all over, I dislocated more fingers and toes than I can count (usually the same few over and over again), and everything just aches. But it was worth it. Because we had fun. I'm definitely going to need a lot of tylenol for work tonight, and I'm not even going to wait for last rounds to put my braces on (knee and wrist for work)...those are going on to start the night.
And it certainly didn't help that we didn't have enough padding to sleep on, so my body was not supported at all. I was just laying on all kinds of pressure points and sore spots all night. I woke up all kinds of stiff and achy and sore both mornings. We'll have to buy better sleeping gear for next time.
Woke up to thunderstorm this morning, but not enough to flood us out - I kept waiting for the sirens to go off - and then packed up our stuff and left. My gut is giving me fits because of something I ate that it didn't care for...cheese on my sandwich or super-flavorful Tomato-basil potato chips, I'm not sure which, but IBS!fail is the name of the game right now.
Everything is pretty well unpacked and put away. I laid out all the wet stuff when I got home to let it dry, so I just need to roll the tent back up and stuff it in the bag and put everything back in the camping tub that belongs there. And put the tub back in the storage room.
Laundry will be done tomorrow.
After my doctor's appointment. I see the rheumatologist tomorrow. I'm nervous. I still don't know what I'm going to do if she tells me she doesn't think I have EDS. I'm not a doctor, but it just seems to fit. Considering nobody else has been able to give me a better answer, I'm willing to go with what fits now. I know there's no cure, so having an answer doesn't mean all that much to the naked eye. But having an answer means a lot when you've known for so long that something was wrong that you just couldn't put into words for anybody else.
I really really hope this goes well tomorrow. I just want answers. That's all. I know Matt doesn't understand still, he had to ask me a couple times why I was "hoping" this is what I had or why I would "want" to have this. But that's not it. Nobody wants to be sick, but when you are, you want to know what's wrong with you, you want a label to slap on it. It makes it easier to explain to people when you trip and fall over all the time, when you're tired for no reason, when you hurt and ache and crack and pop like an 80 year old, when you want to scream because you're in pain but nobody knows because you never talk about your pain, because there's never been a good reason for you to hurt....
I might need a little extra prayer tonight and tomorrow. That's what I'll work on.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
I want a brownie
Random, but I do. I may make them for breakfast later :)
Got pulled last night at work. Wasn't too bad. I knew it was coming soon, which made it more bearable. Had a book with me and mostly just kept to myself.
Really enjoying my book. I need to start reading more. Maybe once I get my new phone I can download some ebooks as well. But good old fashioned page turning is the best. Especially since no matter how much I think I'm going to write at work, I never do. Between my hand not cooperating or the muse misbehaving or my paranoia that other people might be reading over my shoulder. So taking a book with me is good.
I ordered me and Matt's phones a couple days ago. And got the numbers the next day. They should be here Monday or Tuesday. I'm so excited!! I can't wait to give it to him! I'm so proud of him! He deserves something nice for all the hard work he's done. What a great man!!
We went to the Muny tonight. Saw Footloose. It was good :) And Matt liked it :P He wasn't sure he was going to, but he did. I'm glad too.
We were kissing on the couch when we got back to his place and my jaw kept popping. After 30 minutes, when I said I needed to get home, my jaw was locked up and popping and hurt so bad. I really really hate my joints. Not going to stop me from kissing my man, just frustrates me.
The spot on my heel is....slightly better. It hurts, and it bleeds, and limping on it makes other things hurt. But that's what happens when you take a huge chunk out of your foot.
I really need to get back to my search for camping locations. No more procrastination. ....unless the brownies continue to call my name....
Got pulled last night at work. Wasn't too bad. I knew it was coming soon, which made it more bearable. Had a book with me and mostly just kept to myself.
Really enjoying my book. I need to start reading more. Maybe once I get my new phone I can download some ebooks as well. But good old fashioned page turning is the best. Especially since no matter how much I think I'm going to write at work, I never do. Between my hand not cooperating or the muse misbehaving or my paranoia that other people might be reading over my shoulder. So taking a book with me is good.
I ordered me and Matt's phones a couple days ago. And got the numbers the next day. They should be here Monday or Tuesday. I'm so excited!! I can't wait to give it to him! I'm so proud of him! He deserves something nice for all the hard work he's done. What a great man!!
We went to the Muny tonight. Saw Footloose. It was good :) And Matt liked it :P He wasn't sure he was going to, but he did. I'm glad too.
We were kissing on the couch when we got back to his place and my jaw kept popping. After 30 minutes, when I said I needed to get home, my jaw was locked up and popping and hurt so bad. I really really hate my joints. Not going to stop me from kissing my man, just frustrates me.
The spot on my heel is....slightly better. It hurts, and it bleeds, and limping on it makes other things hurt. But that's what happens when you take a huge chunk out of your foot.
I really need to get back to my search for camping locations. No more procrastination. ....unless the brownies continue to call my name....
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Good has to outweigh the bad. Fact.
Let's start with this fact: I'm a picker. I used to bite my nails, I used to pick at them, used to pick scabs and dry or peeling skin and anything else that was there to pick and pull at on my body. With a lot of mental focus, I learned to stop doing this, because it's all very bad habits, I know this. But once in a while, it still gets the better of me again and I'll catch myself messing with a bad fingernail or dry skin on my hands or feet.
A handful of years ago, I had a REALLY bad patch of dry skin on my feet that was getting on my last nerve. I put socks on my feet, and fitfully went to bed. I woke up with raw, bleeding feet the next morning. That's right, I picked at them in my sleep. To the point that I couldn't walk for a week. I had a nurse wrapping my feet every day and I had to soak them to keep them from getting infected. It was awful. That was the worst week of camp ever.
I'm very good about lotioning my feet now so that that can't ever happen again.
Except. It did. Not nearly as bad as before, thank God. But I have pulled a sizeable chunk of skin off my heel. It's bleeding and raw and so very fragile and it HURTS! Work is going to suck tonight.
----
Matt starts work tomorrow!!! He has lectures and seminars and paperwork from tomorrow until the first day of class. Boring stuff, but necessary. And it'll fly by. I'm just so excited for him! I can't believe he's finally getting his class room! He's worked so hard for it!
Even though money is a little tight right now, I'm going to get the gift I originally intended to get him. Because I can't think of anything else that he would like as much, and I think he really deserves it. I'm so proud of him!
So I have to make a couple calls tomorrow to make sure I can get that purchased and set up in the next couple weeks :)
----
The new girls at work are talking about leaving as soon as they get their certifications. Pardon me while I happy dance. WAHOO!!!! Things would be so much better without them. That's all I can say. Even now that they're trying....a little....they're still not in it for the right reasons and just don't give it the right effort or time or care and just don't see the bigger picture. At all. They drive me crazy (not just me, they drive everybody crazy). So, if they want to leave, more power to them.
I really need to stop rambling on here and get to work. Like, now.
A handful of years ago, I had a REALLY bad patch of dry skin on my feet that was getting on my last nerve. I put socks on my feet, and fitfully went to bed. I woke up with raw, bleeding feet the next morning. That's right, I picked at them in my sleep. To the point that I couldn't walk for a week. I had a nurse wrapping my feet every day and I had to soak them to keep them from getting infected. It was awful. That was the worst week of camp ever.
I'm very good about lotioning my feet now so that that can't ever happen again.
Except. It did. Not nearly as bad as before, thank God. But I have pulled a sizeable chunk of skin off my heel. It's bleeding and raw and so very fragile and it HURTS! Work is going to suck tonight.
----
Matt starts work tomorrow!!! He has lectures and seminars and paperwork from tomorrow until the first day of class. Boring stuff, but necessary. And it'll fly by. I'm just so excited for him! I can't believe he's finally getting his class room! He's worked so hard for it!
Even though money is a little tight right now, I'm going to get the gift I originally intended to get him. Because I can't think of anything else that he would like as much, and I think he really deserves it. I'm so proud of him!
So I have to make a couple calls tomorrow to make sure I can get that purchased and set up in the next couple weeks :)
----
The new girls at work are talking about leaving as soon as they get their certifications. Pardon me while I happy dance. WAHOO!!!! Things would be so much better without them. That's all I can say. Even now that they're trying....a little....they're still not in it for the right reasons and just don't give it the right effort or time or care and just don't see the bigger picture. At all. They drive me crazy (not just me, they drive everybody crazy). So, if they want to leave, more power to them.
I really need to stop rambling on here and get to work. Like, now.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Good days
Went to bed around 8:40 this morning, woke up around noon with a sharp stabbing pain in my gut. Sleep won out the battle to investigate it further (I remember mashing around on my belly a little to feel for any over-sized air bubbles, but those don't usually cause stabbing pain like this), and I woke up again at 3, mystery pain gone. Such is the story of my gut.
Got up and around, ran a few errands and did all my grocery shopping for the next 2-ish weeks. Then Matt came over :) And he had flowers. For no reason at all :) :) :) He got them at the farmers market yesterday :) He's way too sweet for words!!
After supper, we bummed around for the rest of the night. Watched some Bones, colored (because I'm silly like that, and he goes along with my silly), and just layed around talking. I like the talking. A lot.
----
The pinched nerve in my neck is doing better. The pain was working up into my skull again at work last night, but today it's mostly in my jaw, and a little bit in my neck and shoulder. Still popping tylenol to keep it comfortable, but it's bearable.
....still makes my neck pretty stiff/sore to look up at Matt for any period of time ;P
Got up and around, ran a few errands and did all my grocery shopping for the next 2-ish weeks. Then Matt came over :) And he had flowers. For no reason at all :) :) :) He got them at the farmers market yesterday :) He's way too sweet for words!!
After supper, we bummed around for the rest of the night. Watched some Bones, colored (because I'm silly like that, and he goes along with my silly), and just layed around talking. I like the talking. A lot.
----
The pinched nerve in my neck is doing better. The pain was working up into my skull again at work last night, but today it's mostly in my jaw, and a little bit in my neck and shoulder. Still popping tylenol to keep it comfortable, but it's bearable.
....still makes my neck pretty stiff/sore to look up at Matt for any period of time ;P
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