Switched from Klonapin to Ativan for sleep. The change has helped and I'm sleeping a bit better now. But I'm having the hardest time getting to sleep. I've been having anxiety attacks - small one, nothing extreme - and my body can't seem to relax. And the crappy part about anxiety is that the more you think about it the worse it gets, and it's hard not to think about the way your skin is crawling and how badly you need to walk for a week straight, so you think about it even more. It's a vicious cycle.
I was using music as a distraction and to help me relax. Nothing wild, just classical pieces. But that wasn't helping so much anymore. So now I'm on to sleeping with the tv on again. It's not healthy for sleep, and I worked hard to get out of the habit of needing tv to sleep, but the fact is, it's the only way I can relax and stop focusing on my anxiety long enough to fall asleep.
Since I'm making a point of taking rest periods during the day, I've started letting the dog in bed with me. It's less time he has to spend in his box, and he likes to snuggle and protect me. I like that he's behaving himself a bit more now, well enough that I can actually let him in bed with me (he used to cause trouble if he was in my room and I was asleep...he's chewed on antique furniture...not cool). And he likes getting to protect me. Yesterday, he was awake and alert when I fell asleep, and an hour later, when I woke up, he was still awake. But once he realized I was awake again, he snuggled in and slept a bit himself. He's such a good boy.
I strained my back at work a couple days ago. I was doing everything right and didn't feel anything bad, but while I was cleaning up, something started to hurt between my spine and shoulder blade. I filed an incident report to be safe, but insisted I was fine. A couple hours later, my upper back was really tense and my left shoulder (bad shoulder) was starting to feel iffy. I knew that if I kept up and let my shoulder stay so tense, I was going to start having dislocations and a whole other set of problems. So I asked to go home. Didn't get into the doc until the next day, but it was pretty routine stuff. It was a strain/spasm. I just have to take muscle relaxers and wait it out. But the work comp doc is sending me for two weeks of physical therapy as well. I'm not upset about that. And I'm especially thankful for the option to be able to choose where I go for PT (as long as it was within network). So I'll be going to the place I'm used to, where the PTs already know me and my whacky EDS issues. So I'll spend more time getting good exercise and less time trying to explain how things work for me. And I'll be on light duty at work for two weeks, which I'm fine with.
I also finally had time to go speak with someone in HR about potential job/position changes. So she's calling some people for me and made suggestions about possible positions and how to apply for jobs that aren't posted yet. So that's on the to-do list now. It's not something that will be quick or easy, but it could get me into another, less physically demanding, position, and back to working more hours and actually making money again.
I made birthday cake for a friend yesterday. Felt good to be up and productive, even if it took longer and turned out less pretty because of my back, but cake is cake, and I'm looking forward to sharing it with her tomorrow :)
While my back is cooperating, I need to clean up my mess from yesterday (yup, didn't do the dishes, just threw it all in the sink...that was all I had in me :P ). Happy Sunday all! ::hugs and spoons:: for everyone!