Plans, we always know how those end, but we make them anyway

I was in just a stupid amount of pain the other day after eating something that would be so harmless to anybody else. Hours of wondering if the stabbing in my stomach was going to stop. And wondering when I would feel like eating again since I was at work and my blood sugar was dropping.

So I found a corner to myself and called my GI doc's office. I made an appointment. Because this really has to stop.

I'm going in with the same goals, but revised, and more persistent.

I'm requesting an EGD. I had one three years ago and I'm sure a lot has changed since then.

And I'm requesting two surgeries. First is a Nissen fundoplication. It will cinch my LES up tighter so that I can't reflux every single thing that passes my lips. Because my reflux isn't even all acid related, most of it is just stomach contents. That stuff shouldn't be coming back up. A while back I saw a specialist that primarily just focused on reflux related diseases and very stomach-only issues. We had talked about doing the Nissen that I was going to have done about 3 years ago. He was on board with it and wanted to run one more test. That test showed that what was going on with my stomach wouldn't really make a great candidate for that procedure, and referred me to my GI doc to do treatment.

Now, however, things have gotten much worse.

I'm also asking that a J-tube be put in. I've asked for this before and was told that I was too young and not sick enough (yeah, you try and figure that one out because I sure couldn't). But I'm getting sicker and sicker. Fast. So I'm going to my GI doc with information and research and about a billion other things. With the two surgeries combined, I'll still be able to get nutrition even though the Nissen will make it very hard for me to eat anything.

I am willing to have a nasogastric J-tube put in as a trial, to show that I can tolerate it if that's what it comes to, but I'd really rather not if we can just do the surgery and get it over with.

It's not like I'm asking for narcotics or plastic surgery. I'm not asking for a walk in the park. I know this will be hard and take a lot of adjusting. But if it means I'm a little healthier and feel a little better, it's worth it. Because I am having more and more days that drag me down to the point I don't feel like trying anymore, and that's just not me. I need to feel better. I need myself back. I know this won't be a magic trick, won't heal or fix anything that's already done. But it will help.

I go to see him at the end of the month. And if he won't at least consider it, I'm going to find another GI doc who will listen to me and at least tell me an actual reason for saying no (because I don't buy his response, there's no age limit on illness, and just because I don't look sick doesn't mean I'm not).

So there's that plan. And I'm going to get something out of it or die trying.