Hope is the thing with feathers - Emily Dickinson

I had the most random fleeting thought the other day. That I was going to bust my ass to get through nursing school this time if it kills me (I've been a student on and off for 5 years, this time I'm going to get in the program for real and haul it until I'm DONE!). And then the thought came that maybe I wanted to be a doctor. That maybe I could get through a medical major and survive it and help others.

When I was young, I wanted to be a doctor. I always wanted to be in a medical field and help people. And from the impressions tv gave me, being a doctor was the best thing for me. Then I got older and realized that nurses spend more time with their patients than doctors do, and that's what I wanted, to be there for my patients.

But then it just grabbed onto my brain and wouldn't let go...the thought that maybe there was a way to be a doctor and still be the one who spends time with my patients. I realize the only way that would realistically happen is to open my own practice or work in a private practice that has more doctors than nurses. And that idea felt shiny for a moment.

I might tuck that in my pocket and see if I still find it there after I finish nursing school.