More trying to remember my brain

The last two weeks definitely haven't been fun. The beta blocker made my blood pressure so low that I've been groggy and low functioning and dizziness has been worse. But on the positive, I do see that it has helped with the palpitations.

For whatever reason, my body isn't reacting the same to the meds as of yesterday. My blood pressure has been higher, the palpitations have been more frequent and stronger. My heart rate has increased a bit since yesterday, but it's still within good range (it's been mostly under 80). I'm not sure why the change...but it's happened. And it's annoying. My chest hurt last night, my left arm was aching, I was anxious, I just felt horrible. Turning on my left side helped, and being far on my side or stomach is always more comfortable when I'm anxious or my heart is racing.

I have my tilt table test and cardiac MRI on Friday. My mom and stepdad are coming into town for that. Though we won't actually know anything that day. I did just call and make an appointment to see the cardiologist the following Friday. I know he would call me if there was a problem, but I would rather just have the appointment already set so we can go over results and talk future plans for management of symptoms.

I also see my GP tomorrow, which is great, because I feel like there's a lot to catch up on. I really wish there was a way to use email to communicate with doctors. Even if it was pay per message or something (because doctors should be paid for whatever services they provide), I think it would really help a lot of people.

I've been off work for two weeks and I know the next paychecks are going to hurt. I don't know what to do about that though. I've called Legal Services of MO for the second time, and I'm hoping someone will call me back soon to talk about benefits and services that I qualify for. I am ready to quit my job....I just want to focus on me. My job is hurting me and I just can't take it anymore. I want to be able to rest and take care of myself.

And of course, to top it all off, I'm definitely allergic to bananas now. My mouth and throat feel all puffy and dry and irritated. No more bananas for me.