Been having dysautonomia issues again lately. Particularly in the form of tummy troubles. I've had some BP/HR issues, but those haven't been as bad as the stomach. I've been having delayed gastric emptying, reflux, bloating, constipation, pain, swallowing issues....the works. And it sucks. Megan and I had a great couple of days planned. She was going to treat me to dinner for my birthday, at Cheesecake Factory, since I've never been there. I was prepared, I brought Zofran, which I've been taking more and more of lately. And we were planning to eat dinner but then get dessert to go so that we could eat it much later.
We went to the movies, went to see Hunger Games. But the little bit of funky that I was feeling turned into a massive amount of funky a few minutes into the movie. The movement on the screen made me motion sick, and I was overheating, nauseated to the point where I actually thought I was minutes away from throwing up (it hurts SOOOO much to barf, I can't stand it, even if it does make my tummy feel better afterward), and my BP/HR were going crazy. I took Zofran but I was sure it was going to be too little too late. So I went out to concessions to get a cold drink. Leaving the theatre helped a bit because the motion sick-inducing screen was out of my line of sight. And walking/pacing has always been a great solution for nausea for me, so the walking around helped. I got a Sprite because burping helps my tummy and it's more soothing than anything else they had there. I walked around for a little bit and sipped soda (and clutched it for dear life since it was cold...helped with the overheating). I finally felt well enough to go back into the movie, but I sipped my soda the entire time and couldn't sit straight without feeling worse, so I sat forward with my elbows on my knees the whole time.
Since I still wasn't feeling fabulous, Megan and I decided to pass on Cheesecake Factory because it wouldn't have been enjoyable for me (but we're still going to go at some point soon). Instead we got me some soup and bread at Bread Co, she got a sandwich, and we went back to her place to eat and watch TV.
Went to Mission Days the next morning (very early in the morning, which didn't help). I was mostly okay through the program, but afterward, we went to lunch with another friend. I had a margarita and nachos and felt like hell afterward (more Zofran, and we drove back with the windows down to keep me cooled off). Got back to Megan's again and we were going to start our Harry Potter marathon, but neither of us had gotten much sleep, and I was still exhausted from my tummy problems, so we ended up napping on the couch instead. We're going to try Harry Potter next time.
When I got home yesterday, I didn't really eat much...tummy wasn't up for it, but I've done better today. And I'm trying to take it easy on foods today. I have to work this weekend, so I just want to get the dysautonomia under control as much as possible before then. Then I'll go back to feeling like hell. With a few days to recover. It's a vicious cycle. I work, feel like crap, recover, back to work.
I had my evaluation at work last week though, and I was eligible for a raise in June, which means I'm no longer on probation (I was on probation from sick days last year, which meant no raise, no financial support for school, no switching departments, no option to move up or take on positions of authority, etc). So I think I'm going to talk to the Human Resources department and see if there are other options for me that would keep my pay at least linear (I can't afford a decrease), less time working on my feet and tearing up my joints, still keep my benefits, and perhaps even be something that I could do more of per week and try to get back to full time, or at least add a few more hours to each paycheck. I just want to be able to pay off my bills and keep up, perhaps save a few dollars for a trip this summer (I really want to spend some time with a new friend, but she lives far away, and right now I can't afford to fly out there), be able to afford the fresher and organic foods that seem to be kinder to my gut (packaged foods pretty much equate to death right now....but fresh foods also cost more, which I hate...why should I be punished for not wanting to load my body with preservatives and fat and artificial crap).
Such is life.
But I did do a little birthday shopping last week, got some new clothes. My old clothes were just getting too tight, and that contributes to tummy pain and reflux. So I had to break down and get new stuff. I wish I could afford to go to the gym and swim, get a few pounds off (still wouldn't be enough for my old clothes, but I certainly gained a lot of weight in bad ways while I was sick before my surgery, and I would like to lose just a few of those pounds - I gained about 30, I'd like to lose 5-7). But the gyms with pools cost $20-30 more than the ones without. I can't afford that right now. It sucks. I will someday though! Determined!
That's all I have right now. I need to get some more fluids in me...my blood pressure and heart rate are low and it's making me feel a little sluggish. (this is one of those times I really wish they would have put in the damn J-tube because it would be incredibly easy to get extra fluids that way without making myself sick trying to drink so much...I really need to find a doctor who will do that)
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