She numbed me up and scoped me and found two things remarkable (hey, didn't expect to get one and I got two? lucky me :-\ ). First, my larynx is damaged. There's a lot of wear and tear and inflammation that just doesn't belong. Basically, it's in rough shape. This could be the reason I always feel like I have something in my throat and want to clear it or cough constantly, or doing all of that could have cause the damage. We don't really know.
Second, I have a VERY absent gag reflex. When someone is poking around the back of your throat with a scope, you should be coughing or gagging or begging for mercy. I didn't do anything. I felt it there, and it felt like I might have needed to cough, but there was no reflex to do anything about the intrusion. So this could explain some of the choking sensation. I might be getting food hung up and not having the sensation enough to reflexively clear it.
Bottom line, I've earned myself some time with a speech therapist. Oh goody.
I also changed my diet this week. I switched completely and strictly to a gastroparesis friendly diet. I don't know if I have GP, but a lot of the symptoms fit and so far nobody has been able to come up with anything better. For four days, I did much better eating and drinking. It was still difficult since I'm not used to meals, but I was getting a lot down. More than I have in ages. Yesterday I started having more heartburn and reflux, and today it got worse, with more stomach pain, fullness feeling, nausea, the works. So I didn't eat nearly as much today as I would have liked. But I had to stop. So right now my stomach hurts and I'm nauseated and having reflux, but I've also taken my klonopin for the night, which helps the nausea some.
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So, I ended up going to bed before I could finish this last night. I was tired and I just wanted to lay down. I woke up this morning with a lot of reflux and stomach pain. I feel really draggy and just....not great.
I took my meds in applesauce like I normally do, but that was all I could manage. (It was about 1/4 - 1/3 cup...enough for the meds and to wash the taste down). I'm having a lot of reflux and coughing, some of it sounding really junky in my lungs. I poured myself a Sierra Mist Natural on ice in my thermal mug, and I'm going to work on sipping on that to keep my blood sugar in check (hopefully). And I've got all my regular diet food in the fridge which is plenty bland and soft, in the hopes I can actually eat something later.
But right now, I just feel like crap. I'm hoping some rest will help.
I'm right there with you when it comes to choking on everything. I had the bad sense to eat a club sandwich on Friday, and I choked on it 5 times! It was fun. When you're constantly choking on everything, the gag reflex does go away pretty quickly. I had my tonsils out a few years ago, and wiht each one being the size of a walnut, the muscles in my throat had gotten so lax as to be useless. So for months I choked on everything I tried to swallow, and I lost my gag reflex. The only good thing about that was that I no longer had the anxiety of "OMG I'm CHOKING" and I am able to calmly rectify the situation.
ReplyDeleteI really hope your doctors can figure you out! It's no fun trying to find a diagnosis for anything, let alone once you've already been diagnosed with something else. The doctors like to just assume that all of your problems are a part of the original diagnosis, and they just give up too easily.
Ugh! Sending juju to you both! Trying to eat when you're constantly choking sucks.
ReplyDeleteBe sure to take it easy on yourself and let me know if you have any questions or anything. You're talking to a pro-star of choking.Hopefully really soon you'll be able to eat anything you want.
(Yes, I'm getting back on here hella late...it's how I roll)
ReplyDeleteI have noticed that the lack of gag takes away the panic of choking. Like, I still feel it and it still scares me when I do it, but there's not that initial full body freak out that goes with choking.
And thank you, Nakki. I will definitely ask questions should they arise (like how on earth you convinced your doc to go through with the j-tube...when mine - any of them - think it's a preposterous idea. sheesh. if they were choking all the time, I don't think they would be so hesitant about it)