Happy Veteran's Day

I cried when Scott told me not many people wished him a happy vets day or said thank you today. That really just broke my heart. That's just not right. I hope he at least got to spend the day with Amanda and enjoy himself doing something fun.

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The dysautonomia/EDS flare seemed to die down. I felt much better today than I did yesterday. I didn't have to take the beta blocker today like I did yesterday. And I think I like keeping it around as a PRN rather than taking it daily. That makes me feel better about having it. That it works in one-time doses and that I don't have to take it routinely to get it to work.

Still haven't told Alicia about all of this, and it's really ridiculous. She's my best friend, but lately, it feels like she's not. I feel like I'm just out of sight, out of mind. And it's not fair. I feel like she's going to make me feel like I've done something wrong for not telling her sooner when she does find out. And that she's going to make it seem like it's nothing. And that I'll be fine with a little fresh air. Just like when we were kids. I'm so frustrated by all of this.

And then I'm talking to Scott who's going through a horrible chronic pain condition who reminds me that he loves me and that we're family and he'll be here if I need anything and I want to call and spill my guts and tell him everything that's gone on in the last few months and how Licia just hasn't been there for me and how I really miss her and how it just sucks. But I can't do that. I can't.

So, I contain it. For even longer.

And head to bed. Because I have another long day of work ahead of me tomorrow. Then a weekend to enjoy the hell out of!